Weekend's Laughter

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LAUGHTER…some said it's the best medicine in the world. So start smiling and laughing as much as you can. Have a hearty laugh over every amusing situation. Laugh even at yourself and smile at the simplest pleasures in your life. With smiles and laughter, your days will become lighter, more joyous and more bearable even on those hay-wired days. Your smiling face looks much more appealing and beautiful too. Give away your smiles freely and in abundance. Spread your laughter around as it's contagious.

Enjoy these stories, I hope I can make you smile and hopefully.................LAUGHING!

A little girl asked her mother: How did the human race appear?

The mother answered: God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.

Two days later she asks her father the same question.

The father answered: Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed.

The confused girl returns to her mother and says: Mom', how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were developed from monkeys.

The mother answers: Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family while your father told you about his side...

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to hoot and holler, "Where did you get that truck???!!!" 

He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost.
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars." 

So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?"

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars." 

"Oh my goodness!" moaned the mother, "She must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."

So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! 

He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a coffee break, but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money. So I did".

A man died and went to heaven.

As he stood at the gates he saw a wall of clocks. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'

St Peter answered that they were lie clocks, whenever you tell a lie the hands move.

'Oh' said the man, 'Whose clock is that?'
'That's Mother Teresa's, it has never moved indicating that she never lied'.

'Whose clock is that?' asked the man pointing to another.
'That is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, indicating he only told 2 lies in his life'.

The man looked about and then asked, 'Where is Brian Mulroney's clock?' 'Ah' said St Peter, 'that is currently in God's office, he is using it as a ceiling fan'.